did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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