I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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