You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
