I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
