I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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