No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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