Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
