And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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