i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
