I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
