She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize