porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
