Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just found puke in my bra..
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
