Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
