i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
