I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he laminated a picture of his dick.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
These tits shall not be calmed
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
