Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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