I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
