Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
where are you?
Hypothermia
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
