im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize