yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
