Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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