What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
