the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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