I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
