Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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