D3 body, D1 cock
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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