I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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