she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
