since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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