Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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