I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
