Apparently you make a good broom.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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