But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
