Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The air taste purple.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
