no, he came in my armpit
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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