The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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