You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
