My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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