peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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