My brain says no but my pants say off.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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