So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
