Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
