She's JV to your varsity
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
