dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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