worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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