You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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