Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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