I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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