ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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