and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize