My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
