My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
