I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
