fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
