There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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