ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
