I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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