yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Are we still banned from the library?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
