remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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