Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
