youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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