No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Green mimosas i think yes
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
