I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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