My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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