the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize