I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
