dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize