What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
